Gina with her baby

Advice for Women Looking to Hire a Surrogate

Infertility affects 7.3 million people in the United States.¹

When living with a chronic medical condition, childbearing becomes increasingly complicated and risky.

Even though a woman with a chronic illness can physically give birth, she should consider these factors before actually doing so:

  • pregnancy puts increased stress on the heart and cardiac system.²
  • any woman who has had a blood transfusion may produce antibodies that can potentially harm an unborn baby.³
  • dormant viruses that live in the mother can get reactivated due to the biological changes that happen during pregnancy.⁴
  • bone density decreases in the later part of routine pregnancies.⁵
  • Prospective mothers with chronic illness who are risk averse, but would love to raise a child, have two options: adopt a child or hire a surrogate to give birth to your own child.

A surrogate is typically a healthy woman who already has children of her own and is paid to give birth to an embryo that has been created in a lab using your husband’s sperm and your egg (for example).

Both adoption and surrogacy are incredibly expensive, costing thousands and thousands of dollars.

The cost for a surrogate includes whatever the woman will be paid to give birth to your child, the hospital fees for the woman, the legal fees that go into the paperwork, the fees for removing your eggs and husband’s sperm, the fee for creating an embryo and inserting it into the birthmother, transportation fees, and many more fees!

The Leonardi Family
Both options also come with harsh judgements and criticism from “healthy” people.

Here are a few comments that people left in articles about women who hire surrogate mothers:

  • “There is a reason God chooses who should be parents.”
  • “Enlightened people don’t have surrogates.”
  • “Aren’t there any adoptable children out there any more? Why are folks so obsessed with having their “own” children?”
  • “Surrogacy contracts should be illegal.”

People love to ridicule others, especially when emotions get stirred. And, well, babies tend to stir emotion.

Each of the above statements is ridiculous though, because each one comes from a person’s own self righteous beliefs and insecurities.

To say God wouldn’t want this or that or asking why someone would want to have their own child or boasting about enlightenment — they’re all selfish egotistical statements that lack empathy and love. I like to call people like this “insane.”

In vitro fertilization is part of the same fabric that has created medical breakthroughs like chemotherapy, which allows life to continue “against nature.”

The people who ridicule others for using medical breakthroughs to have children are hypocrites as soon as they go to the doctor for medication or even use a band-aid to keep a wound from getting infected.

So, for this reason, I thought it would be interesting to interview someone who has had experience with hiring a surrogate mother.

Please listen to my friend Gina Leonardi discuss what it was like to have someone else give birth to her baby.

Please share this post with anyone who feels hopeless about having a child. There are options out there that everyone should be aware of.

References:
1) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/30/magazine/30Surrogate-t.html?_r=0
2) http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/pregnancy/art-20045977
3) https://labtestsonline.org/understanding/wellness/pregnancy/first-trimester/antibody/
4) http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/278890.php
5) https://www.nos.org.uk/~/document.doc?id=405

To life (regardless of how it arrives in the world),
Josephine

About the Author

Josephine Bila

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I’m Josephine Bila, MSW, a clinical social worker for you — the health seeker who craves an energized body, strong relationships, and the willpower to overcome any obstacle.

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